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Sunday, April 26, 2015

Irony

In an ironic twist of fate, 3 days ago, I experienced the most sudden and terrifying MS relapse in my six years with this disease.

I was driving my young children to school on Friday morning. Everything was normal, all was well. As I sat at a stoplight, I noticed a glimmering blurry prism-like area in the bottom of my right eye's visual field. As I tried to look at it, it proceeded to rapidly expand upward, soon covering my entire right eye's field. I would describe it like looking at the "Northern Lights," with rainbow, hazy colors and bright flashing lights surrounding it. Everything was distorted, blurred, and looked much like a psychedelic "LSD trip," but only in one eye. I panicked. I am normally calm and pretty collected with my symptoms, but this was terrifying, as I was driving my kids at the time.

I made it home, jumped out of the car and got into the house to see my husband (an ER doctor.) I told him what had happened. I was in a pure panic, I admit it. I was crying, shaking, absolutely terrified. Needless to say, we went to the ER. My neurologist ordered an immediate MRI, concerned that I might be having a stroke. Fortunately this was not the case. Unfortunately, a new, very large lesion was found on the left side of my brain, right in the visual cortex. This is the area that processes visual information.

So, in a way- I was seeing a "visual hallucination," caused by my brain's skewed interpretation of what my eye was seeing. This has proceeded for the last three days, and I have been receiving IV solu-medrol (steroids,) at the hospital. This is an excellent example of what this disease is really like, for those who don't have it. It is entirely unpredictable, devastating at times, and knocks you off your feet at the worst times. I sat in my old ER, my old workplace, and once again- I was a patient. I write a great deal about my diagnosis experience in this same ER in my book. It was another surreal, upsetting experience. I am grateful for this voice technology I have on my computer, because it allowed me to write this blog this morning. I apologize for my lack of inspiration and uplifting words this Sunday, but I wanted everyone to know that I truly understand your pain. I know what this disease can do, and I hope to be back next week with my normal blogs- whether written with voice technology or not!

Thank you for reading, and please be sure to watch for the link to the new book, which is to be released this Tuesday, April 28th. Stay strong, MS fighters!
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